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Growing


Growing
The term unemployed professors review is a word I don’t take lightly. To flourish in life you have to learn to create your path. In creating your own path you have to try to “fit the pieces in the puzzle”. Starting high school is a scary experience, and I happened to be a victim of bullying and harassment. This was the opposite of what I thought would ever happen to me. Being a freshman is challenging; you want to be accepted and people to like you, but in life, not everyone is going to like or appreciate you. I was harassed for writing unemployed professors reviews, with people saying blasphemy about me and writing hateful things on social media. I didn’t feel good in my skin anymore and the same “Kiana” I used to be. I didn’t like the way that I looked and couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. This caused me to be very uninvolved in my academics, social and mental health.

After school I would go straight home to my bed crying myself to sleep everyday. I kept my emotions to myself and didn’t show people how I truly felt. I looked happy, but I wasn’t happy. The reason I think I hid my real feelings are around mental health there’s a stigma and how you think people will make fun of you and perceive you in a certain light. For me and many other people being affected by this is something that will be apart of yourself. My whole life I have always been a holiday Catholic. This means the only time I went to Church was on Easter and Christmas. On one Saturday night I remember my Dad coming up to me to ask if I wanted to go to church with my Grandpa. I hesitantly decided that I should go; “what’s the worst that can happen?”

I thought to myself. I had this mindset because I never had a relationship with my Dad’s family. While driving with my Grandfather in the car to Church: I remember him looking at me saying, “We barely get to see each other and I want my Granddaughter to know much about me as she can.” He started to tell me his life story on how at twenty-threes immigrated to America with nothing, but he supported himself and his family. He put himself through college while working in a factory, and got his BS degree in marketing. My Grandfather telling me this story compelled me on how you can have nothing in life but if your trying and your heart is in the right place; there are endless possibilities.

After going to Church for the first time in months I felt like I was apart of a community, something bigger than me. That day was a life changing experience and instead of being a holiday Catholic; I started to go to mass every Sunday. My faith was what helped me to become stronger. My grades went up, I started to be able to look myself in the mirror and see how beautiful I am. I helped with fundraising for charities. I took my first acting class over the summer, something I have wanted to since I was nine years old.

I started to do things that I felt I needed to do and made me feel better, I didn’t let any negativity get in my way. Growing in life is hard. It’s not going to take one day, it's a process. Getting bullied didn’t hinder me, it made me the person I am today. For me going to Church and my Grandfather's life story was the experience I needed. It opened up my eyes to all the things possible in this world that I can do. I learned it's never too late to do what you love as long as your willing to put your all into it.